We were in Fullerton for a show last weekend and decided to do something incredibly fun. Here is a moment from said fun:
That's right. We went to Disneyland. Lots to say about that place, but in summary:
1. Disneyland is fascism done right. You can only do exactly what's allowed, and you must at all times enjoy it and be happy. They run a tight ship, and all the clocks are perfect and the trains run on time. Luckily, this is fascism with a mission statement that it wants to make everybody as magically happy as possible.
2. Space Mountain continues to be as fun as hell so that's cool.
3. Splash Mountain is racist. But it is also awesome.
4. The Haunted Mansion has been temporarily changed to have a Nightmare Before Christmas Theme. Now, we're all big Tim Burton fans. And we like Danny Elfman's music a lot. HOWEVER, you do NOT fuck with our childhoods (childrenhood?). At least one of us (ahem, Alexander) have had his childhood partly defined by this ride. "Grin Grinning Ghosts" is nothing short of a jingle masterpiece, the "It's A Small World" of dead people all over the globe. What do we have now? A crap-fest of crap-tacular pastel decorations illustrating how cool it is when Christmas and Halloween collide. Had we been offered acid while in line, we might have been a touch more forgiving, but in our sober states, rage sprang forth in response to Disney's kiddie bastardization of a childhood touchstone. It was everything I could do to hold Alexander down when he attempted to destroy a cat-jumping-from-a-gift-box robot. This robot used to be a zombie in a coffin, and I could hear my brother's heart break as he saw the new version and screamed in anger "It's a cat! It's a fucking cat!"
5. Rant over. Everything else in the park was awesome. We didn't get to hug Goofy, but we waved at him from a distance. We ate churros and pineapple whip. We scratched our heads at the end of the Snow White ride. We scratched our heads even harder when we went on the mushroom-trip that is Winnie The Pooh's Adventure.
6. Good times, good times.
And that, my friends, was Disneyland.
